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A few folks have asked me to recommend a Lenten devotional or resource to guide them through Lent, as I did during the Advent season.

I’ve been thinking about that off and on, and today Sara Zarr beat me to it in this wonderful post on her blog. If Sara’s words aren’t enough to prompt you to pick up Paula Huston’s incredible Simplifying the Soul: Lenten Practices to Renew Your Spirit, well, I don’t know what to do with you.

But, if you really need another suggestion, I also recommend Bread & Wine: Readings for Lent & Easter.

Much grace & peace to you as we all turn toward the coming Lenten season.

 

I first “met” Kristin Ritzau on the pages of her book, A Beautiful Mess: A Perfectionist’s Journey Through Self-Care (go buy it now, seriously). As I read, I discovered a kindred spirit, a young woman intent on living well and yet tired of the brutal violence done to her own soul in the name of “performance” or “perfectionism.” Not only was I delighted to find another director my age (the field is predominantly populated by those over 45), I was encouraged by the deft ways that she spoke truth and healing into the soul-numbing assumptions of our culture (both Christian and secular).

When I had the opportunity to meet Kristin in person at one of her A Beautiful Mess seminars, I discovered that all of my delight and encouragement has been well-placed. Kristin isn’t someone who just writes about the deep truths of the spiritual life—she lives them. In all the messy beauty of a life of intention, Kristin is full of grace, kindness and love. I’m excited and honored to introduce her to you.

Introduce yourself to the Anam Cara readers. Who are you? Where do you live? What do you do other than spiritual direction?

My name is Kristin Ritzau, and I am a recovering perfectionist who lives outside Los Angeles on an urban homestead.  Currently, I am an adjunct professor at Azusa Pacific University, but I am also an author, speaker, friend, wife, and chicken owner. 

What brought you to the ministry of spiritual direction?

I know it might sound funny to be a “recovering perfectionist,” but, seriously, spiritual direction brought me into recovery as someone whose life had always been measured by the expectations I thought everyone else had of me. Being burned out and tired all of the time were not ways I wanted to live anymore, but I didn’t know how to go about my life differently. As Henri Nouwen writes, burnout is not a sign that you are doingGod’s will.  And when I finally faced that reality, spiritual direction was my medicine.  I learned about spiritual formation in seminary and for the last six years have loved learning more and more about it by getting my certificate as well as attending week long contemplative prayer retreats every summer.  My soul now longs for this way of life and keeps me investing into spiritual direction.  

Why do you think spiritual direction is valuable?

To remember that I am not in control.  As someone who always thought I needed control to survive, the value of spiritual direction has been the discipline of continuing to die to my false self and constantly reemerge as more and more of the person God created me to be.  In the ministry I facilitate, A Beautiful Mess, it is my passion to create safe space for our authentic selves. Every season I see more and more need and value for these spaces—spaces where we can realize the beauty in the mess instead of trying to clean it up all the time.  Spiritual direction allows us to be ourselves with the comfort of the Spirit (and hopefully others) in a never-ending organic process with the Creator.  It’s invaluable!

What’s your favorite thing about being a spiritual director?

The mystery.  Every time I lead an exercise or am with a person or writing, it is a wonderful mystery of what will emerge.  The peeling back of layer after layer can be painful, but honestly, it gives me so much hope to know that there is always more to unearth in myself and others and most of all of God.  The moments when stories, visions, and prayer click into place too—the “OH, that’s why this is connected to that!” moments—it is like a puzzle to which I might point out the border pieces, but working with others after we dump out all of the pieces out of the box and try to put it together in a new way, it is a joy like none other. 

What question about spiritual direction do you get asked the most? (And/or what question do you wish you got asked?)

Get asked: What is spiritual direction? What does a session look like?  Why do you do this?  I’m thinking of becoming a spiritual director—what do I do? 

Wish I got asked: To collaborate more—it can feel like lonely job sometimes because there is not always a centralized group around this burgeoning profession. I love doing this work, but I truly believe that together we are better, so I guess I have a question I’ve been pondering—how can we all support each other?  

You were just given a yacht. What would you name it?

Mysterious Journey.  However, that kind of sounds like a Dateline special that ends tragically… so maybe not….  

Give us your life story in 6 words.

Dysfunction. Trouble. Found. Deconstruction. Wonder. Bliss. (Repeat)

Okay, you can have more than 6 words. Share your full bio.

My perfectionism was fueled at an early age by feeling the need to be noticed to due a workaholic father and practically single mother who was worried about my chronically sick younger brother. Even though I grew up in a faith-based home, I truly didn’t understand the love of Jesus until I was in college.  It was there surrounded by a true community that I began to face my past and felt called to help others.  This led me to seminary shortly after getting married to my husband, Nathan.  We made our way to Los Angeles and were met with some hard realities of me becoming very sick, a new marriage, and job searches.  Those were hard times where I came face to face with the guilt and shame I carried for so long because I never felt like I was enough.  In facing those realities with a new community, my ministry, A Beautiful Mess was birthed out of this time with a group of women called to live authentically. Simultaneously, I was working with Student Life at Azusa Pacific University and fell in love with the educational process and creating safe space to learn and ask hard questions.  I saw this need in myself as much as I did in what God was calling me to do vocationally and recently became an adjunct professor to invest in a new way of exploration.  In our home life, this calling has led to planting most of our property with vegetables and raising chickens in our backyard.  We long to live a simple life, but that doesn’t mean easy, and I plan on exploring what this looks like in much more depth as I head back to school to begin a Ph.D. program in Theology and Spiritual Formation very soon. 

To learn more you can visit kristinritzau.com, I would love to hear from you! 

To find out about A Beautiful Mess and/or contribute to the site, check out abeautifulmess.org

Anything you’d like to add?

I appreciate what you’re building here, Tara.  Your collaborative spirit and authentic journey are examples to myself and others.  Thank you for making this space.  

* * *

Thanks, Kristin! I’m honored to be on the journey with you, and excited to explore together what those collaborative places and spaces are inviting us all into!

 

 

 

There have been a number of wonderful articles and blog posts recently that I've wanted to share with you.

Here they are, in no particular order:

Welcoming Tenderness

A beautiful blog post by Christine Paintner that talks about making space for the parts of ourselves that we otherwise surpress. An invitation to tenderness.

Be The Person You Were Meant To Be

A reprint of an essay by Anne Lamott. The title says it all.

Prozac v. Jesus

A beautiful, honest reflection for those of us who struggle with depression.

I met Jenn Brukiewa (I believe) the very first month that I moved to Colorado Springs. Looking to connect with the spiritual formation community in this area, I managed to get myself invited to the very first meeting of the (now sadly defunct) Spiritual Formation Network of Colorado Springs. For a long time, Jenn was someone I secretly admired from around the room during our meetings. Since God both has a wonderful sense of humor and is incredibly generous, Jenn and I have become good friends—soul friends, even. I have the great grace of getting together with her every two weeks for breakfast, where we talk about our lives, God, our families and whether or not to have the same thing we always eat at the greasy spoon diner that hosts us. I’m thrilled to introduce such a beautiful soul to y’all, and show you yet another face of spiritual direction.

Introduce yourself to the Anam Cara readers. Who are you? Where do you live? What do you do other than spiritual direction?

Hello! My name is Jennifer Joy Brukiewa. . (It’s Polish.) I reside in Colorado Springs with the love of my life and husband of almost 19 years and our three girls 4, 9 and 12 years old. The majority of my time and heart is given to caring for my family and homeschooling our amazing, unique girls. We love good books and read. A lot. I have a picture book fetish and love good classic children’s literature. I believe a well told story is honey for the heart and soul. I’m also passionate about encouraging God’s beloveds through speaking, teaching, and retreat leading to sink deeper into His grace. It brings joy to my heart to create sacred space for others to slow down, attend to their hearts and listen for the voice of the Good Shepherd.

What brought you to the ministry of spiritual direction?

Though I have only just completed my two-year spiritual direction certification this last spring, spiritual direction was placed in my heart long before I had even heard of the term. My husband and I have been in church ministry together since we met 20 years ago on a leadership team for our college church group. I have always been drawn to spending one on one time with people, listening to their stories, and walking with them in the deep heart places. My passion has been for others to have deeper intimacy with the Father in their daily life, for them to be more at rest in the gospel, and hear the gentle whispers of the Spirit more clearly. It was natural for me to receive formal training in spiritual formation and direction when God brought the opportunity along over three years ago.

Why do you think spiritual direction is valuable?

Safe places for the heart can be so very rare, even in the church. My favorite descriptive words for the space provided in spiritual direction are soul sanctuary. To be able to come, share your heart honestly and know you are heard and not alone; that in itself is so valuable. Each story the Author writes with each life is unique and beautiful. We all need to hear our stories reflected back to us in order to better pick up on the themes and invitations the Good Shepherd is drawing us into. Our society is a busy, loud one. How desperately we need to slow down and listen to our spiritual heartbeats! Doing this regularly with a spiritual director/companion is one way of intentionally walking in the light. (1John 1:7) A safe soul space with other saints who are mature in their walk with Jesus is crucial for the health of our own walk with God and one another.

 What’s your favorite thing about being a spiritual director?

Witnessing the True Spiritual Director at work in the lives of His loved ones! I fall more in love with Him as I witness over and over the wonder of the life of Christ alive in His saints. Every season of the soul is beautiful and full of hope because of His life given to us. Even long winters are sacred times of growth though life may seems frozen over. I consider it an honor to wait and pray with another soul for however long it takes for spring to arrive.

You were just given a yacht. What would you name it?

“Whimsy”. I like that word.

Give us your life story in 6 words.

Loneliness. Shame. Hiding. Seen. Beloved. Joy.

Okay, you can have more than 6 words. Share your full bio.

I grew up in Southern California the youngest of four girls by ten years in a relationally turbulent, Christian home. I have known Jesus for as long as I can remember, but did not go to church often. I was loved well as a child, but I always felt I was uniquely flawed somehow. I feared that God’s grace would run out and believed I deserved to be abandoned. I was homeschooled and had a pretty isolated childhood. I started a professional career in musical theater and singing at age 12. When I was 17 I found a church to attend out of a driving spiritual hunger and longing for Christian friends. There my relationship with God flourished in new ways. That is where I met my husband, David. We married on May 15^th,1993 when I was just 19 years old. We moved to Orlando, Florida where he attended seminary, we worked together in youth ministry, and I worked at Disney World as a singer/actress. (Yes, one of the parts I played was Belle.) Those early years were rough as I struggled with depression and panic attacks feeling full of shame and inadequacy. The Lord tenderly lead us to a church where the gospel was preached in such a way that we were filled with new hope in Christ. The shame and guilt I had held all my life were beginning to dissolve as the people of River of Life PCA loved on us and fed us Christ. As they saw me and loved me, I experienced Christ seeing me and loving me, broken as I was. My soul came out of hiding. In 2000 having just given birth to my first daughter, my husband and I came here to Colorado Springs to start a new ministry. While living here the last 11 years, we have experienced a full cycle of seasons, both literally and spiritually. Right now we are feeling the warmth of summertime. We are deeply rooted and blessed with a peace-filled place to live with our three girls, and a beautiful community of faith.

For more information on Attending Grace Ministries, visit my new website at www.attendinggrace.com.

Feel free to call me with any questions you may have @ 719-464-6189

Or email me @ JenJoyBruk@q.com

Anything you’d like to add?

Tara, thank you for the interview. I praise the Giver of all good gifts for you, my Anam Cara.

 

I posted this today over on the Anam Cara Facebook page. Please join in the community there (or here!), and thanks in advance for your support!

* * *

As I've mentioned before on this Facebook page, I'm currently writing a book on the intersections of spirituality & physicality, to be published by InterVarsity Press late 2012 or early 2013. (If you're interested, you can read the original announcements here). My deadline is June 1, which is rapidly approaching. And when I say rapidly, I mean that in the "runaway train gaining speed as it careens down an mountainside toward my struggling form tied to the tracks" kind of way.

As any of you who have attempted anything even remotely artistic know, there's a lot of fear wrapped up in the process of creating. And there's a lot of resistance. As a director, I recognize and acknowledge the gifts of both fear and resistance. As an author on a deadline, I need to push through the fear, and kick resistance to the curb.

But to be honest with y'all fear and resistance have been kicking my butt recently. Almost anything, including the Most Hated Household Chore (the Folding of Laundry), can distract me from my writing. Editing work! Dish washing! Pinterest! Castle re-runs! Dog-training! I'm like a chipmunk with ADHD. 

So, to settle myself down, and to break through the creative road blocks I'm facing, I'm declaring afternoons at Anam Cara to be Artistic Afternoons. (If art really isn't your thing, be patient, we'll get back to normal after June 1.) To keep myself inspired and motivated, I'll be posting quotes from writing resouces like Steven Pressfield's "The War of Art" and Anne Lamott's "Bird by Bird." I'll share writing prompts and ideas—which you're invited to respond to when you feel led.

And I'll also be posting prayer requests. More than anything else, knowing that I have the support of a wonderful community like you helps to keep me focused and creating. Writing can be a lonely process, and knowing that you're alongside of me (and, I'll shyly admit, keeping me accountable) helps immeasurably.

As I go, I'll be specific as I can in my requests for prayer. I invite you to pray, to post your prayers and to be part of this journey with me. In the end, we're going to write this book together. I can't do it without you.

Much grace & peace,

Tara

P.S. Don't worry, you'll still be seeing great quotes, contemplative exercises and midday meditations at Anam Cara, as well!

 

I have to say, y’all have really surprised and delighted me with the depth of your questions about the practice of spiritual direction. While I by no means expected anything shallow or silly, I have been impressed by questions that made me, as a seasoned director, stop, think and wonder, Yes, why is that? I appreciate that not just because it means you’re engaging and asking questions that matter to you, but also because it opens my eyes to see the practice of spiritual direction from a fresh perspective.

So, on to today’s question from Joel Anderson:

Are there any key strategies or practices that form a part of a healthy director-directee relationship?

I think that I can begin to answer this question by starting with the building blocks to any healthy relationship. While there are things that are specific to the direction relationship (and I’ll get to those in another post), the place to start is with answering the question, Are there any key strategies or practices that form a part of a healthy _______________ relationship? You can fill in that blank with almost anything, from marriage to friendship to employer-employee relationships and everything in between.

Respect

Respect is a fundamental building block of any relationship. Respect doesn’t mean that you are always on the same page, but it does mean that you always honor the other person and their choices. It is important both that you feel respected and that you respect the other person in the relationship. In spiritual direction, this means that you are willing and able to honor your director’s time, space, suggestions and that you come to your times together in a way that honors the fact that he has been praying for you and holding the time intentionally well before you got there. It also means that you can expect your director to respect your time, space, suggestions and the sacrifice of your own time to be there by being intentional, listening well and not imposing, teaching, speaking over you.

Open, Honest Communication

Any relationship will become twisted and dysfunctional if it is not undergirded by open, honest communicaiton. This doesn’t mean that you have to spill your guts instantly, but it does mean that over time you choose to express what is going on with you to the best of your ability. If you’re tired when you walk into your direction appointment, a healthy director-directee relationship means that you’re able to express your fatigue without your director causing you to feel guilty or ashamed. Open, honest communication creates a space where you can feel heard, safe and accepted. This involves listening without interrupting, asking clarifying questions when things are unclear, and seeking to understand before seeking to be understood.

Trust

“We’re never so vulnerable than when we trust someone – but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy” – Walter Anderson

I find trust to be one of the most difficult and and yet most foundational aspects of any healthy relationship. Trusting another doesn’t mean believing that they will never hurt or fail you. Instead, it means believing that the other person doesn’t want to hurt or fail you—that they want to best for you, and that they genuinely care for you. Trusting someone or something means that you have confidence in them coupled with a willingness to rely on them. In a spiritual direction relationship, trust means having confidence that your director deeply wants the best for you in all things, and desires more and more of God for you. Trusting your director means relying on her to draw you deeper into the presence of God, or to help you in discerning God’s movements in your life.

Boundaries

Appropriate boundaries are important to any relationship. Respecting and maintaining those boundaries allows us to feel safe with one another and to know that the inner sanctuaries of our hearts won’t be imposed upon or violated.

Nonetheless, I find that most people don’t know what healthy boundaries are—in almost any relationship. Because “boundaries” has become a psychological buzz-word, many people use it as a way of trying to manipulate others to do what they want. This is a misuse of the term.

Healthy boundaries in a spiritual direction relationship mean a few things:

1. You value your own time, and your spiritual director’s time.

This means that if your director suggests a time to meet, and you have 6 different appointments that day, you say ‘no’, instead of trying to squeeze the appointment in. It also means that you turn off your phone during spiritual direction appointments (and you expect your director to do the same.)

2. Your director shares his policies with you, and you understand and respect them.

A spiritual director that you meet with should have a series of policies that they have developed around confidentiality, lateness, cancellation of appointments, and communication outside of the direction time. These policies will be unique to each director, but a clear communication of these policies is vital. It’s also important that you don’t simply skim through those policies without clearly understanding and respecting them.

As an example, I have a policy that I can’t guarantee that I will respond to phone messages or emails regarding your spiritual life outside of the direction appointment. While I do my best to respond where and when appropriate, I reserve the right to respond instead during our regularly scheduled time. This doesn’t mean that I don’t care about you, am not praying for you, or don’t understand that you may be in crisis or struggling with an important issue. What it does mean is that I truly do believe that God is good and that He can and will meet you in between the times that we are together. I have this policy so that I can honor each of the directees that I journey with, and love them well, as well as loving my own family and guarding my own time when we’re not together.

Kindness

I think that kindness is one of the most underrated, yet most important, fruits of the Spirit. In any relationship, is it more important to you to be kind than having your own way, being in control, or being right? Do you want to be heard more than you want to be kind?

Kindness is a close kin to love. Scripture talks of God’s loving-kindness or hesed. In a healthy director-directee relationship, it is important that you feel that you’re being treated kindly—and that you are treating your director kindly. Do you feel like love and kindness are the driving forces of your relationship?

* * *

What about you? Do you think I’ve missed any key elements of a healthy relationship?

Next Up: Practices and perspectives that are specific to a healthy spiritual direction relationship.

 

For today's interview, I'm honoured to introduce my friend and colleague Monica Romig Green. I "met" Monica during a supervision course that we took together—although I've never met her in person, since I Skyped into that class each week from Colorado Springs. Monica's gentle spirit and tender attention struck me immediately, and I thought, "I would like to be her friend." Over emails, instant messages and communication on Facebook, we've come to discover a mutual love for all things bacon, spiritual direction and life in general. My prayer is that I'll get to met Monica in person this side of heaven, but in the meantime I'm grateful that I get to share her wisdom, wit and loving heart with you.

Introduce yourself to the Anam Cara readers. Who are you? Where do you live? What do you do other than spiritual direction?

Hi! My name is Monica Romig Green. I have been a spiritual director for about 9 years and am a supervisor and retreat leader as well. I am the Director of the Evangelical Spiritual Directors Association, and also the Director of Community Ministries for Evangelical Center for Spiritual Wisdom, its parent ministry, where I help to write curriculum for the church in the area of spiritual formation. I hail from Southern California, but I live in Toronto, Ontario, with my husband Matthew, who is a PhD student at the Toronto School of Theology. 

What brought you to the ministry of spiritual direction?

Circumstances that only God could have orchestrated! In 1999-2000, I went through a life crisis that turned my whole understanding of myself and my relationship with God upside-down. I began a journey into deep healing and practicing healthy relationships. Everything I was learning started to bring the rest of my life into question as well. I took a year-long sabbatical from my management work in the professional theatre to discover where God could be leading me through all of this. Through prayer and community, I began to sense that God had something new for me, but I wasn’t sure what. After a season of waiting, I heard about a brand new master’s degree program at Biola University’s Talbot School of Theology. I enrolled in the first class of the Institute for Spiritual Formation without completely understanding what spiritual formation was or that I was going to be trained in the ministry of spiritual direction. I just knew that this was the next step in the journey God had been walking me through. I was astounded to discover spiritual direction and have loved this ministry ever since.
   

Why do you think spiritual direction is valuable?

I once saw a poster that said “What everyone needs is a good listening to.” It’s remarkable to me how little we really relate in this day and age. Spiritual direction is a ministry that allows one to be listened to – to be deeply and truly heard. It’s a safe place to share with another whatever is on one’s heart: joys, sorrows, doubts, celebrations, fears, hopes, anxieties. If that were all that spiritual direction were, it would be a tremendous gift. But it’s even more than that. A spiritual director is not just listening to your story, but is also listening and looking for God in your story, offering back an opportunity for you to hear and see God as well. To have someone witness and affirm God’s active presence in your life is a remarkable blessing that can help bring growth, healing and freedom in unexpected ways.

What’s your favorite thing about being a spiritual director?

I tell people that I feel like the most blessed person on earth to be able to practice this ministry! I love seeing and hearing what God is doing in people’s lives. It’s like witnessing some of the most beautiful, heartfelt, touching, and remarkable art you’ve ever seen. How God loves us is so creative, personal, stretching and good. Even when I am accompanying someone through very painful and difficult seasons, it is a privilege to be with them right in the midst of the darkness – no matter how long it lasts – to share their burden and wait with them for God.

What question about spiritual direction do you get asked the most? (And/or what question do you wish you got asked?)

As the director of an association for spiritual directors, I’m not sure that there’s a question I haven’t been asked about this ministry! But because one of our missions is to help introduce spiritual direction to the evangelical church, I think the main question I get asked is simply: “What is spiritual direction?” So many people have never heard of it, and the descriptor “spiritual direction” does not offer the clearest picture in and of itself, even though the term is rich with history. My favorite question to get asked is “do you know of someone who would be a good spiritual director for me?” I love hearing that people are interested and ready to intentionally attend to their spiritual lives with the help of a director. And, by pointing them to ESDA, I can share with them a list of wonderful people who are available to help them.

You were just given a yacht. What would you name it?

A yacht? I think I’d name it “For Sale by Owner.” I have a tendency towards seasickness, so I don’t think you’d find me out on the water like that!

Give us your life story in 6 words.

God’s rewrite trumps my first draft. 

Okay, you can have more than 6 words. Share your full bio.

For a full bio, you can send people to my brand new (and always under improvement) website: www.monica-romig-green.com

You can also direct them to www.esdassociation.org for my listing there.

Direct Contact info:

e-mail: monica@ecswisdom.org

phone: From the US – 214-919-4147

            From Canada – 416-708-3779

Anything you’d like to add? 

You rock, Tara, and I wish you lived closer. I’d love to hang out with you in person!

Ditto, Monica! You’re a joy and a gift to know, and I’m thrilled to introduce you to my friends in the Anam Cara community.

 

While I by no means keep it perfectly (or even as regularly as I would like), I have a rhythm of daily prayer which keeps me. Because of the gifts of the Northumbria Community, I have a series of prayers that I either listen to or pray with morning, noontime and evening. This loosely translates to 7:30 am, 12 noon and 10 pm. 

Tonight's compline, the Ebba Compline*, spoke peace and life to me this night, and so I share it with you, in the hope and belief that it will speak peace to your tired soul as well. (All of this information comes courtesy of the Northumbria Community.)

 

* Find rest, O my soul, in God alone:
my hope comes from Him.

Come I this night to the Father,
come I this night to the Son,
come I to the Holy Spirit powerful:
come I this night to God.
Come I this night with Christ,
come I with the Spirit of kindness.
Come I to Thee, Jesus.
Jesus, shelter me.

* I will lie down and sleep.
I wake again,
because the Lord sustains me.

* By day the Lord directs His love;
at night His song is with me –
a prayer to the God of my life.

* Be strong and take heart,
all you who hope in the Lord.

* This dwelling, O God, by Thee be blest;
and each one who here this night does rest.

* May God be in my sleep;
may Christ be in my dreams.
May the Spirit be in my repose,
in my thoughts, in my heart.
In my soul always
may the Sacred Three dwell.

May the Father of heaven
have care of my soul,
His loving arm about my body,
through each slumber
and sleep of my life.

The Son of God be shielding me from harm,
the Son of God be shielding me from ill,
the Son of God be shielding me with power.
The Son of God be shielding me this night.

* Sleep, O sleep in the calm of each calm.
Sleep, O sleep in the guidance of all guidance.
Sleep, O sleep in the love of all loves.
Sleep, O beloved, in the Lord of life.
Sleep, O beloved, in the God of life.

The peace of all peace
be mine this night
+ in the name of the Father,
and of the Son,
and of the Holy Spirit.
Amen.

 

*Ebba died in the year 683. She was the sister of Oswald and Oswy, who were both kings of Northumbria. She founded the 'double' (i.e. there were both men and women there) monastery at Coldingham, situated on St Abbs's Head (which was subsequently named after her).

We’re back for another round of introductions to some of the most incredible people I know. I met Todd Spencer about 2.5 years ago in the context of our spiritual direction practices. Todd is one of the most humble, kind and thoughtful directors I know. He also has an unwavering dedication to living, receiving and giving the extravagant love of God. It’s the kind of love that always challenges me to offer myself more boldly to others, and to love others more unconditionally and deeply. His email signature says it all:

Good news is God’s love wins, starting now.

Introduce yourself to the Anam Cara readers. Who are you? Where do you live? What do you do other than spiritual direction? 

My name is Todd Spencer and I live here in Colorado Springs. I have served as a spiritual director to adults in a formal fashion for 7 years.  I am an ordained United Methodist minister and have serve in ministry to youth and young adults for 25 years.

What brought you to the ministry of spiritual direction? 

My life was deeply changed by a number of great humored, deep-hearted contemplatives during my teenage and young adult years. Once I discovered how much my ministry was already becoming one of spiritual direction with teenagers and the wonderful adult volunteer staff I was leading, I went on a search for places to deepen that. First, I found a spiritual director to journey with. Then,  I was thrilled to participate for 2 years in the Youth Ministry Spirituality Project led by Mark Yaconelli at San Francisco Theological Seminary. The goal of the YMSP was to develop a contemplative model of youth ministry in the congregational setting. So enriching, hope-filled and challenging! And then, some years later, I found The Shalem Institute and was given the opportunity to complete their Spiritual Guidance Program. What amazing souls and minds I met and learned from there. While I continue following my call in youth ministry, God has been blessing me with more and more adults who thirst for deeper waters with Christ in spiritual direction.

Why do you think spiritual direction is valuable?

What I see as most valuable in spiritual direction is, first, how it allows a person to slow down, breath and have undivided space to notice the presence of Christ who is stirring already in the person’s life. God’s eternity is where we already live. We don’t have to be other-worldly to discover the Divine Lover. But it really helps to have another person who has been swimming intentionally in deeper waters to help us hear and see and discern Christ’s handprints on our lives.

Also, like Richard Rohr says, there can come a time in a person’s life when they realize that their religion—with it’s structures, creeds, formalities, rigid attributes—is not enough. Not that it’s altogether bad. But it isn’t the Good News itself—only the imperfect vessel attempting to hold the Good News. Having a good spiritual director, hopefully, helps a person hold their religion, and themselves, more lightly and see how God is already moving, yes, perhaps through their faith tradition, but even more so beyond, around, under and in spite of it. Indeed, each day we breathe in God’s presence, but if we are not listening for how the Presence is wishing to aid, heal and love us, we are missing out on so much joy. God won’t force himself upon us, because that is not in God’s nature. But God will always draw near and direct the person calling out and then listening for response. Spiritual direction is a practice with rhythm and space for the potential of this to be experienced.

What’s your favorite thing about being a spiritual director?

There is so much I love about the work of spiritual direction. Probably, the parts that give me the greatest joy are: the slowing down and quieting that happens almost every time, the laughter that arises from a person feeling new freedom to be themselves in God’s hands, the long-term nature of the relationship and the life stories that I am very honored to hear. But there is much more!

What question about spiritual direction do you get asked the most? (And/or what question do you wish you got asked?)

Probably the one I get the most is: “How is spiritual direction different from counseling or therapy?” (Spiritual direction is not about problem-solving or fixing things, but paying attention in prayerful conversation for what God is doing or inviting us to participate in.)  The questions I would enjoy being asked more often might be: “Would you tell me more about that song/piece of music you just played?” I enjoy the language of music (all kinds). I use at least one piece of music at the beginning of nearly every session. But I don’t talk a great deal about the specifics of the piece unless the person wants me to do so. Or, another question I like is: “Would you tell me more about the symbol/picture you have placed next to the candle?” Same kind of thing.  

You were just given a yacht. What would you name it?

That’s a fun question! Maybe one of two names: “Centering Prayer,” for the spiritual practice that has most given me holy rest and a sense of rightness with the world. Or “Cuthbert’s Raft,” for the Celtic St. Cuthbert. During September of 2010, I was stranded overnight on Cuthbert’s Island, a tiny tidal island at the edge of the isle of Lindisfarne on the North Sea. I prayed, shivered in the rain and tried to sleep in a howling wind next to ruins at the foot of a wooden cross. This was one of the most liminal, and in many ways, humorous, experiences of my life. I wished I had Cuthbert’s raft.

Give us your life story in 6 words.

Life, death, new life; God’s grace.

My contact information is:

Todd A. Spencer

toddaspencer@me.com

719.433.3493

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If you’d like to hear Todd’s voice (and some of his music), please feel free to visit his podcast here. Todd shares a regular podcast of lectio divina and meditation on both art and Scripture.

 

 

When I decided to begin the project of making spiritual direction more tangible, more practical, more, well, real, at least when it comes to this blog and my practice, I did so, I admit, with somewhat of a spirit of heaviness about me. Not because I didn’t want to embark on this journey—I did, and I do. But it felt, to be redundant, like a project. Something requiring hardhats and permits and probably a three-month delay so that the right paperwork could get filled out, and don’t forget the administrative fees.

What I’ve found in reading the questions that you’ve written in, and experiencing the concomitant* excitement in my own soul is that this isn’t a project but an adventure. And instead of strapping on the protective gear, I’m opening up the front door and heading out into the wild, wintery, wonderful world out there with you to explore together the practice and vocation that I love so much.

In that vein, I’m going to start with one of the questions that it gives me the most joy to answer. Lisa Tuttle asked, I would like to know, what gives you the deepest pleasure as a spiritual director?

Now, I could give you the fluffy, vague answer that I sometimes give at parties when someone asks what I like about being a director (Watching people grow.) But that’s not what you and I are about here, are we? We’re about specifics and the concrete and the running up the side of the mountain because it’s there and we can.

So, here goes. In no particular order (as they say in the reality shows):

•  The moment that an otherwise anxious or distracted directee embraces and relaxes into silence for the first time. This is especially difficult with another person, and when a directee enters into true silence, there is a holy hush that enters the room. It’s as if we are both wrapped in the warm, muffling blanket of God’s love. It’s amazing every time it happens, but it’s especially holy the first time.

• The honor of seeing a life being changed and shaped by God. This happens slowly, over time, but in unmistakeable ways: a person with anger problems slowly becomes more patient with others; a woman who puts little to no trust in God or others comes to realize that she now truly trusts God in the storms of life; a man who struggled to have any faith in God at all realizes that he is held by a Father who will never let him go and loves him beyond anything he will ever do or not do… the list goes on and on.

• Witnessing God break someone free from a sin that has entrapped them for most of their lives.

• The times when God floods me with His love for the person sitting beside me in the direction room. (At these moments I usually have to resist weeping in gratitude or flinging myself at the directee to hug them. Instead, I treasure these things in my heart.)

• Being alongside as Jesus reveals Himself to a person as they have never seen Him before.

• Watching someone experiment with type of prayer or a spiritual discipline that they never thought to try—and seeing it expand their relationship with God, their interior freedom and their love of life.

• The time of prayer before a directee arrives, when I hear a word, a phrase, a song, or a Scripture or I see an image that I know is His heart for this hour of holy time together. Hearing them say, “That was exactly what I needed to hear/see.”

• That time of prayer right before a directee arrives, and I hear nothing. The thrill of anticipation when I go into a session with nothing in my hands, wondering with awe, I wonder what You’re up to today, God!

… and those are just the things that I can think of off the top of my head. I suspect that this list is going to get longer and longer.

You don’t mind, do you?

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* I love the word “concomitant”. I realize it is a $5 word, and using $5 words does not necessarily make things more accessible or understandable. However, in addition to being a spiritual director, I’m a word-geek. And when I have an opportunity to use a juicy, succulent, just-right-for-this-moment word, I will. My promise is that it will always be a compliment to the dish I’m serving, and I will tell you what’s in it. So…

con·com·i·tant           /kənˈkämitənt/